Insomnia is the worst thing in the world to have. Lying awake, just waiting for the REM state to finally kick in. But it never comes. All that waiting and anticipation for nothing.

I’ve tried several things my therapist recommended to me. Over-the-counter sleeping aids, relaxation techniques, drugs. Nothing seems to work. The mind keeps racing, racing about nothing in particular.

6 months. No rest. Too scatter brained to find and maintain a steady job.

They say time is an illusion. Time itself doesn’t exist. Strange concept, isn’t it? Lying in bed, watching the clock on the wall tick on by this illusion grows more real. Minutes feel like hours, and hours days.

I walk down the road. My mind goes so slow. Yet everything around me- cars, weather patterns, people in business suits, move at the speed of light.

The closest thing I get to rest is what my therapist calls sleep paralysis. It occurs when you are awake and dreaming simultaneously, causing horrifying hallucinations and an indescribable sense of fear overwhelms the confused victim.

With me, I’d lie, terrified. Strange creatures seem to come out from the framework. Large shadowy figures.  Their form is unstable, like a shadow caste upon a wall by candlelight. They move in swift silence, like an old silent black and white movie. I let out a long soundless scream.

I tell this to my therapist. “It’s unusual” she says. “But it’s probably just a hypnogogic hallucination. They happen to people sometimes just before people drift off to sleep. Don’t worry about it. Just ignore it next time it happens.”

Easier said than done. As the months go by their visits become more common. It’s hard to shake the notion that they are not real.

It’s getting to the point where on a busy New York sidewalk I can see them weaving in, out, and around the busy upper-class as they stride to and from work. I try not to let my eyes dart. Then people would really think I am crazy.

It’s only when I am alone that things get really bad. It’s like the whole room darkens. Out from behind the shades these creatures come out, like long wisps.

The horror intensifies. My heart rate races so hard and fast that it is almost enough to distract me from the paranormal activity around me. My breath gets much more shallow. I struggle to breathe at times. I’m panicking, like being trapped underwater and not being able to break through the surface. Mentally I’m screaming loud enough to break glass. Physically my bottom lip just quivers.

Then it stops. Like nothing happened. Back to sleepless normality. Strange.

Lying awake on my couch watching the ceiling fan twirl round and round. The time on the microwave blinks: 4:30am. Where’s that remote control at? I click on the television. Late night infomercials is better than watching dust fall down on me from fan blades.

Then it hits me.

I can’t move my limbs. The ceiling grows taller and taller into infinity. Static hits the television but I can still hear the infomercial salesman’s voice. His pitch grows deeper and deeper until he’s talking like an Elmo doll that’s running low on batteries. It sounds like it’s coming from all around me. The fear hits me. A bead of sweat drips from my forehead down to my brow. My heart’s racing like never before. I see shadows move in the corner of my eyes.

More voices are coming from the television. I can’t make out what they are saying. There’s a sharp pain in my chest. The volume grows louder and louder until it is excruciatingly loud. God someone shut off that fucking TV!

I hear a voice: “Would you like for us to make it stop?” I can’t determine from what part of the room it was coming from. With a hope in my voice I gather enough willpower to reply: “Yes! Yes! Make it stop!”

“We can do that. We can do all sorts of things”

Well they did what they said they would, but not in the manner I expected them to. The fear, the figures, and voices disappeared at a flash. My heart, on the other hand, quit beating altogether. I grinned. For the 1st time in 6 months I finally get the sleep I’ve been wanting..